Build Confidence: Feed Your Good Wolf

When we look at high level athletes and accomplished people in general, we often see a picture of poise and confidence - the row of fit, strong elite athletes, leaning forward at the starting line, awaiting the gun. They are focused ahead and eager to take on the challenge ahead.

But if we peer beneath the surface of these athletes, the confidence they exhibit is just one aspect of their emotional landscape. Every one of them has experienced – and may even be experiencing in the moment the photo was taken – a whole range of other emotions: doubt, worry, anxiety, and even fear.

In discussing confidence, I think it's important to begin from a place of understanding that it is natural to have these feelings as well, and that you can - and probably will - have both within you. Some people frame this as a battle between the two. In this way of thinking, similar to the Cherokee parable of the Two Wolves, we must feed the good wolf and starve the bad wolf in order to embody the traits we wish to nurture. That may be a helpful way to think about it at times. It may also be helpful to practice acceptance of the negative self-talk and thoughts as something that everyone experiences, and in doing so, re-direct them toward more productive thoughts.

Start looking at flights to Paris, I think I just might make this team after today.

In recent times, more and more people have acknowledged their feelings of imposter syndrome - not feeling like they quite belong, and that their lack of qualifications, ability, etc. will be revealed. This is a topic that came up in Dakotah Popehn’s recent conversation on The Running Effect podcast. I think it’s pretty powerful that even our team’s Olympian has dealt with those struggles.

On the other side of the coin, Dakotah also wrote the following in her training log, a month before the 2024 Olympic Trials Marathon: “Start looking at flights to Paris, I think I just might make this team after today.” If I look back to the workouts she ran when she first joined the team, there’s a lot more in that training log that she noted as being unsatisfied with, or even discouraged. However, there are also a lot of entries stating things like “I know I can do better.” So while Dakotah was battling those feelings of not belonging, she was constantly re-directing to believing that she could do better.

This gives us some insight into how we can work to develop confidence and self-assurance. The idea of feeding the good wolf is again useful here. Positive self-talk, affirmations, and self-belief may be one way of feeding the good wolf. Even more powerful, though, are the actions and behaviors that make us better. If we repeatedly make choices and perform the actions that lead us to be prepared for what we are pursuing, whether that is a PR or some other benchmark in life, we can shape our self-image such that we actually see ourselves as the type of person who achieves the types of things that we are pursuing. The years of consistent hard work and stacking of quality training were instrumental in growing that confidence in Dakotah. And while I don’t think self-doubt ever goes away, this example illustrates how its influence and power over us is dramatically diminished by great preparation.

This article originally appeared in the Minnesota Distance Elite newsletter and was republished in The Connection, TCM's weekly e-newsletter. Subscribe to The Connection here. Find more Motion Expert content here.

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Chris Lundstrom, PhD, is a running coach and exercise scientist who specializes in endurance exercise performance. He is one of the team of Motion Experts TCM has gathered to help its subscribers and participants get the most out of their running. He coaches the Minnesota Distance Elite team and their squad of national class runners, including Olympian Dakotah Lindwurm. He teaches in the School of Kinesiology at the University of Minnesota, and also works with novice and high school runners. Follow and support MDE on their website: minnesotadistanceelite.com and on Instagram: @minnesotadistanceelite.